Is There Anything the Internet Won’t Find a Reason Complain About?

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When it comes to holiday cups, Starbucks can do no right. Last year people went berserk because the coffee chain’s seasonal cup was a minimalist red. In years prior the cup had been red, yes, but also featured various designs such as snowmen, snowflakes, and trees. Apparently, plain red contributed to an alleged “war on Christmas.”

You can’t make this stuff up.

This year, Starbucks added back some design but—wait for it—changed the color. Blasphemy! The Starbucks holiday cup is now, dare we even say it, green. This has sparked outrage from the complaint-eager interweb, with some social media nuts going so far as to accuse Starbucks of “political brainwashing.”

All while gulping down an eggnog latté.

But here’s the best part: this green cup is not actually the official holiday cup of Starbucks. Tie it to the election if you will. Starbucks did. The election—not Christmas.

Starbucks defines the limited-edition cup as “a mosaic of more than a hundred people drawn in one continuous stroke.”

“The green cup and the design represent the connections Starbucks has as a community with its partners (employees) and customers,” said Howard Schultz, CEO. “During a divisive time in our country, Starbucks wanted to create a symbol of unity as a reminder of our shared values, and the need to be good to each other.”

Ew, bringing people together? Fuck that! We want snowflakes.

Starbucks commissioned artist Shogo Ota to create the artwork. The talented Ota did not draw a Christmas tree because it is not a Christmas cup and—despite what 2015 would have you believe—never was (Starbucks, contrary to popular belief, has never put the word “Christmas” on a cup and is in no way Christian). And as for why it’s green? Maybe because that is the color of Starbucks. Who knows. Ask Ota.

Tomorrow, the green cup will be forgotten. We can’t wait to see what trivial non-issue the internet becomes furious with next.

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